Reality

          Okay, how about some psychology talk?

          I took 5 psychology classes in college. It was enough to get me a certificate in psychology which doesn't mean much except I can probably follow the theories and studies of that field to some extent. One of my favorite classes that I took was Personality. This class covered some of the big names known to everyone like Freud, Skinner, and Pavlov. It was interesting to look at how each of their theories worked and how each of them almost got it right. My favorite part was applying their theories to my own life to see how accurate their models could describe me. But one theorist really caught my attention. It sounded right to me and explains a lot of my life and the lives of those around me. I've used these theories in arguments and mediation attempts in my family.

          George Kelly's theory of personal constructs (which can be found here to start with) really resonated with me. Everyone sees the world a little differently. Every one sees a true reality through a particular lens built from personal experience. This lens distorts the true reality into the one that they live in. This explains how two people can look at an object or situation and react completely differently. Because they aren't looking at the same object or situation. Two twins raised in the same household (using this example to negate both nature and nurture arguments) will walk into the same room and see it differently because they literally see it from two points of view. But I'll expand this. They might react different since one stepped in first and saw a split second of an action before the other one did or will be able to react a split second before the other twin and then the first twin's reaction feeds into the second's perception of the room.

          So it is unsurprising to me that people disagree all the time if everyone is seeing something different. But not only are they seeing things differently, they are weighting things differently too. One person may see the event as life-changing and another sees it as a Tuesday.

          One key part about constructs is how they are built. It's not just a lens to take in the true reality but constructs become the algorithms that we use in everyday life. We use cause and effect to predict events and reactions and appropriate reactions to events. We learn these starting at a very young age. Children actually pick up the basics of physics at a very young age, even if they don't know the mathematical models behind them or why they work or what forces are at work. But for example, if you drop something they expect it to go all the way to the floor. Even if the object is blocked by a screen for some part of the drop, their eyes will wait at the bottom of the screen for the dropped object to follow its path. If the object is dropped and then caught behind the screen, this startles the children. How cool is that, kids know gravity even before they know gravity.

          So the small things like physics and how the world works become constructs in our minds and help frame that lens between our mind and the true reality. We develop constructs not only on the physical nature of the world but on our relationships between people. Some constructs when held by society become stereotypes. They are quick references for what to expect out of people. Instead of running the trial and error nature of a child on every person that you meet, you bring some expectations, some constructs to the interaction. You will build constructs specific to that person to rely on in later encounters and some of those constructs may conflict with the previous ones. The ease of changing constructs depends on previous constructs, entangled constructs. That's all dependent on the person and their previous experiences. 

          Now, this is where it gets meta. Being aware of these constructs makes it easier to recognize constructs and react according to them. At least for me. So knowing about constructs is a construct. Twisted right? But being aware that I am looking through my own lens and being aware that everyone looks through their own lens helps me be more empathetic to others' views. I've always been good at looking at things from other angles than the one immediately presented. I am notorious for playing Devil's advocate for even my own arguments. So this why personal construct theory makes perfect sense to me. There is no 'right' way to look at something. Just variations of the true reality. Now, I won't say that I can see the true reality, but I feel like I am a bit closer to it than some other people I know. Some people distort their own realities like defense mechanisms (recognize Freud there?) and have automatic responses to situations caused by repetition of events (Pavlov). Some people are a slave to reactions (leaning towards Skinner's behaviorism) where others seem to take a more proactive approach to their lives or at least try to and present a persona to the world (Jung). 

          But using these theories, I've been able to understand (a little bit better) people's motivations and arguments. I've used these in my family to try to explain events and reactions to different arguing parties. I've used them to take an introspective look into my life and try to describe who I am. I've always had a sense of who I am, a solid core. It's been shaped over time and redefined as I learn things and am exposed to life. But I am still me. I've just been using psychology to define the edges a little bit more and find ways to describe myself to others. I do the meta thing a lot.

          So to wrap up. Psychology is cool. I use it to see things from different perspectives which helps with personal and professional relationships, my writing, and my art. I'd recommend reading some articles on different psychological theories and try applying them to your own lens. Or at least this helps you become aware of your lens and that others have a different lens. I really think just awareness helps. But yea, psychology is cool.